Friday, 9 December 2011

"Nigeria; The movie"

Only a very select few will agree that they found the series ‘Spartacus’ distasteful, particularly people who abhor nudity onscreen and uninhibited violence. However, very few will dish the plot of the series the same treatment for it tells the story of long-suffering and hopelessness, of freedom in chains and want, amidst plenty. (Nigerians can relate).

The splendor of the rich and the nobility was infuriatingly aggravating…you almost wanted to ... (let me just hold that thought). If you were born poor, it was your destiny. You couldn’t, shouldn’t fight it. And if you were among the servile class, the only thing that made you human were your thoughts, you couldn’t, shouldn’t feel. (I guess some Nigerians can still relate).

Nigerians have everything except the will to resist encroachment of their rightful space. The average Nigerian mindset is always “I can always climb the wall if I’ve previously been hugging it”. Hence, we all continue in fasting even when the problems do not require people on “diet”. Perception and orientation goes a long way in determining how we express ourselves or why do you think Americans are different from Arabs or Arabs from Nigerians? It lies not in the fact that Nigerians are “the happiest people on Earth” (shouldn’t God be the one to give this label? (Just saying!) But in the fact that when policies are inimical, Americans use their ‘democracy’ to get their desired results and the Arabs turn rainmakers and bring ‘Spring’ in ‘Fall’ while Nigerians hug their labels and cheer on by the sidelines.

‘Prayer is the key’ was a nice hymn I enjoyed as a kid but I think Nigerians took it too serious. But I think I glimpsed a verse that mentioned faith going along with works…maybe I’m wrong. So, I think Nigerians should ask themselves which God they’re praying to; the one who does all the laundry or the one who shines the Sun you spread your done laundry under.

As at 2010, Nigerian public officers (Legislators) were the highest paid in the world. I doubt any other country has equalled this “national” achievement presently. NASS members were earning =N=240 million annually while House of Reps members were “barely surviving” with =N=214 million annually then. Need I mention that, the first citizen of the world was going home with =N=77 million yearly… (And no, he hasn’t asked for a raise yet!). Figures drive Nigerians crazy, but all we do is rant until memory fails us. I don’t fault Nigerian Legislators for getting that much for a closer look reveals that it’s systemic. They give so much before they get in that they have to grab so much before they get out.

Anti-same sex marriages, tenure elongation, deliberations on prostitution etc how do these put food on the table for the common Nigerian? I’ll answer you… (They don’t!). Matters of security lapses abound, education is fast turning to chaos, unemployment and poverty are virtually competing in intensity, and entrepreneurship is not a funny joke anymore. And we are still on gay marriages? Homeland Security’s Subcommittee on Counterterrorism and Intelligence in the US held a sitting on November 30 where they deliberated on Boko Haram…shouldn’t we pay them for legislative services too?

I’ve studied Nigerian history to a point that all the textbook factors accounting for underdevelopment (Corruption, bad leadership etc) seem not to be the problems at all and I’m close to agreeing with a friend who says ‘Nigeria is cursed’ but that would mean we need more prayers, wouldn’t it?

We can raise colossal religious structures within months yet we complain of no industries and unemployment. We can’t afford to send our children to schools we helped to build in our churches and mosques but it’s alright, “heaven” is assured when you pay tithes and give offerings, I guess. We can fast and pray and do the same thing again till vision 2020 is replaced by vision 2030 or 2040 and we would still be getting the same results (I’m not clairvoyant, at all!).

I don’t claim to have any solutions but I think a way to start would be to alter our general view/orientation and to remunerate those who would impart such knowledge the highest (Teachers) not the legislators. What good can become of a nation without an enlightened mass? (Slavery, at most).

Spartacus is a classic series any day but the lessons therein are timeless. Now, fuel subsidy removal looms and it is not surprising that ASUU strike is here again, both which will have far reaching effects on our economy, socio-political history and perseverance as a people. Based on so many variables considered (Which I can’t go into now), I’ve concluded there will not be a “Spring” in Nigeria any time soon. Therefore, I won’t be surprised if Nigerians just watch the movie again, pray and fast for a happy ending, cry when required, laugh for the most part and let amnesia do the rest…after all; it’s just a movie, isn’t it?

Monday, 21 November 2011

All for one, One for all.

A ‘goodnight kiss’ is a type of kiss..
The ‘goodbye kiss’ is also one..
Then there’s also the ‘remember me’ type..
‘Stolen kisses’ are one of the best..
And still some say, ‘first kisses’ are the better..
But there’s another which tastes like a ‘first kiss’..
Yet, longer-lasting like one’s last..
This is the ‘All for one’ kiss..
Which I think everyone should taste..
Not once..Nor twice
But all their kissing lifetime.    

Sound of silence

I hear him ranting
Cursing it seems to him
Ranting is it to me
I do not speak
To do, would break my monopoly
I’m smug in my intelligence
As unforgiving as his curses
Merciless and unyielding
His shouts and my silence
Like the will of two gods
He is harsh
Am i?
My silence will persevere
Not because they say it speaks louder
It is, the only option.

N.B; I wrote this piece after a quarrel with my old man. As it is with parents, you’re wrong even when you’re right and they’re right even when they’re wrong. What’s more? They can curse and you can’t...You wouldn’t dare! So, enter the silence…to counter the violence (Nice rhyme, ain’t it?). Anyways, I miss him and I love him for teaching me valuable life lessons and building this man who wrote what you’re reading now. [Laughs]

Hit and run

If my younger sister were to be cleaning dishes
And it mistakenly fell off her hands
It could be termed to be a ‘hit and run’
Because she wouldn’t tell mum about it

If a group of boys were playing soccer
And the ball mistakenly hit a nearby parked car
Shattering its windscreen
That could also be termed ‘hit and run’
Because they all would vanish in seconds

If I took my dad’s car out
And hit another car on the way
I might run, afraid of being made to pay
That certainly would be a ‘hit and run’

If I plan on falling in love with you
If I finally do like I did
If you allow me love you the way I should
If you trust me never to hurt you
If you love me in return
If we care for each other
We are both heading for a place I term ‘forever’
And that could never be a ‘hit and run’
·         * * * * * * * *

Beautiful, isn’t it? Same thing I thought. What you just read is a private communiqué between an admirer and my sister. In other words, a love letter (I wonder if they still exist!). I really shouldn’t have posted this (I could be sued…encroachment on privacy, jack lifting, copyright, intrusion into privacy etc so many charges...lawyers know their stuff!) because it’s supposed to be private but the urge to share was doubly overwhelming…(arrrgghhh! I could almost bite myself!). Anyways, hope y’all liked it? I still wonder if she said yes though…


Mirrors tell tall tales of me
Spin webby yarns of how good I look
Gift me dreams; lofty high
Where only thoughts; dare fly

Mirrors, speak so clearly to me
Let my eardrums drum
You, who is bereft of speech
Throb me near the breast
When you show me, Me

Me, make a painting
Capture me, reflect beauty
Now, then and forever
Sigh with me, lie with me
Hide the lies I tell me

Hide the lines; befriend me
Spare the bags ease my leaden heart/eyes
Mask them wrinkles, lend me amnesia
Mirrors, mirror what I plead you mirror
Glory me, do me honour.. Spare me, horror.

Monday, 19 September 2011

'My Kiss'

My kiss; your alcohol
you could get high on it
Teasing as it's given
like in spoonfills
Feeding; bloom your lips like it's leavened
redder than roses
ruddier than pinched cheeks
My kiss; dole your lips,

My kiss; smoother than a full hiss
filling like sweet pee
held for too long,
then released
Gentle, bittersweet like a love-song
here and there, everywhere

My echo
make the rest of you, 'Jell-O'
My kiss; your heroin,
you might get 'used' to/by it
in using it, it's using you
Sweeter, saltier...tastier than punch
Lift you high enough to fly
with angels above

My kiss...bewitch
an itch, you feel
as my lips, they inch
On, in you
my kiss will live...
My kiss; your weed
it still, will fill, your need.

Monday, 12 September 2011


Damages..hmm..let me give an anecdote to illustrate what 'damages' means in this context. Okay, here goes.. Boy meets Girl. Boy likes Girl and Girl vice versa. Boy has a previous engagement i.e fiancee/girlfriend e.t.c likewise Girl. Nevertheless, Boy asks Girl out and She says yes. Boy and Girl start dating with every other thing that comes with the dating package with emphasis (in quote; incase your eyes miss it) on the 'loving' aspect (the part carried out in secret places). They start having 'happily ever-afters' but did you guess? (Okay, i know..most Nollywood movies have this same plot!) Yeah, they soon fall out of 'love'..why? So many reasons..lets start with the masculine reasons first. One, Boy gets tired of 'loving' the same girl everytime. Two, He wants to move on (start 'loving' other girls) while still keeping Girl.. Three, Boy thinks..since Boy and Girl are already 'loving' one other girl and boy elsewhere, why not introduce more players..expand the playing field? Finally, Boy feels trapped/choked.
Now for the feminine reasons.. One, Girl didn't give her 'all' to initial boy like present Boy (Note that 'all' means body, mind, soul, money..with emphasis on body because that can't be retrieved!). Two, Girl has slaved (cooked, washed, spent and endured beatings too!) for Boy. Three, Girl can't stand the humiliation of being the second girl (demotion) since everyone in the vicinity already associates her with Boy. Four, Boy is the most accessible avenue for Girl to get daily 'loving!'.
Irreconciliable interests therefore results in an impasse..Boy says it's over, Girl says never. Boy tries to get other girls, Girl blocks him off. Boy seeks compromise, and Girl tells him he 'must' pay..yeah, here it comes 'Damages!'
And i'm not fibbing..this is not some Nollywood really happened (is happening..). Though an amusing story/incident..i seriously want to learn from i'd like you to tell me what you think about paying for..'Damages'

Thursday, 8 September 2011


Hollow cries the belly
'nough bread to buy, no penny
waxing tunes in penury
Foundation Al-manjeri

Potruding heads and tummy
not good health; anomaly
home for lice and scabies
above, halo-like, angelic

It's we who shake weary heads and worry
They'll continue to live like fairies
gathering scraps, roots and berries
the rest they keep in bellies

It's a world like Peter Pan's; never-ending
what you get in the pan is yours, no lending
keep to the costume; be heart-rending
easily will you everyday get your happy-ending.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

'How A Sinner Thinks'

Only what's seen is sin
'eni a mu l'ole'
Since most of my sin can't be seen,
I let people think;
I seem not to sin
Therefore they do not see,
and I do not sin
It's a very convenient arrangement..
Don't you think?

'The Truth About Lies'

A true lie is infact a complete lie..
A false truth? indeed a simple lie..
A half truth is only half better than a lie..
And a white lie undoubtedly has so many other colours.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

'I, too, am Nigeria'

I, this greenland, fertile
embroidered by the translucent 'Benue' and 'Niger'
have known and been known by many
from 'Fodio' to 'Denham', 'Jaja', 'Clapperton' and even famed 'Kanemi'
All have walked me, free from foe or enemy
by now, you all should know me
need i still say, 'I am Nigeria?'

There in 'Abuja', lies my cousin, 'Zuma'
He, too, is 'Nigeria'..
I span the reach of the 'Creeks'
where 'Jaja' played, whilst a slave
Therein, i dump most of my liquid emission
which my sons; and the rest of the world, crave
Farther down my private parts
concealed from eyes by bushy paths
I spew forth in abundance ...
and, 'Moremi's children are the heirs of that
magnanimity, my character
with laughter i daresay
I, too, am Nigeria

And in the plains of my pectorals
you'll find sons of 'Fodio' and 'Kanemi'
The 'Hausa/Fulani'
makers of 'Fura' and the 'Nunu'
gotten under the watch of 'Mother'; 'Full Moon'
and in the heat of day
when 'Father's gaze is harshest
their cattle steadily, may multiply and graze
'Do you still doubt, I, too, am Nigeria?'

My cousins 'Olumo' and 'Obudu' give respite to mine children
and still others give gems like gold; and oh!
In 'Enugu', coal!..'more than enough to mine, children!'
One, though, you will find me in six regions
Dignity, Strength, Fertility and Tranquility, my best features
With pride, I say 'I, too, am Nigeria'

Thursday, 28 July 2011


It's not the 'itch' that drives my hand to write
nor plenty ink which lowers my pen to paper height
It's the flame of cause, of a course i curse
Of course, my cause, my 'cross' and yours too..probably
I still hear her 'no', it echoes...
and no, i won't describe the sound it makes
even that hurts.

Though closer are we than sleep is to death
She still won't marry me
..and love is supposed to be 'all things?'

She's from the 'Clapping' clan and i; of the 'Bowing' band
Mine's the 'Crescent', Her's the 'Cross'
Though, together we bear it

Our fate(s) has been double-'crossed'
not just ours, yours truly too
but some will pretend they can't see the truth

Were these rules for us?, or for 'Titus?'
I can see 'Phillippians', 'Ephesians', 'Galatians' but no 'Africans!'
Where exactly is the 'Writ' that 'Crescent' and 'Cross' should not mate?

I know i soon will be advised to keep silent and hold my faith
lest i be condemned to 'Hades' fate
Yet, had 'Galileo' kept his mouth...
The 'Cross' would still have us believe the 'Earth' is flat

'Crescent' and 'Cross' will claim they serve a 'God'
So, is it 'incest' when 'sons' and 'daughters' of the same 'God' marry?

Before now, it was from whence you came..
'yanmiri' against 'gambari'
Now, it's what you claim
'Crescent' or 'Cross'
'People of the night's shade!' is it the 'Cross/Crescent's' curse or ours?

What divides us surely can't unite us..
The 'Cross' obviously divided itself (+) further divides us
and the 'Crescent' looks on, indifferent to 'chaos'
Oh! that I were 'Sango's' and She were 'Osun's'...
Then, we could be together..having many happily ever afters.

Monday, 4 July 2011

It's not me, it's them!

If i used to call but don't anymore
it's not my fault, facebook chat won't allow me
If i've stopped texting or 'flashing'..
It's because i hardly check my phone contacts
Nimbuzz wouldn't hear of it!
If i've never called you..
Never texted you,
just know i would have,
it's just that, i'm always 'on' twitter!
If i see you and don't recognise you
it's probably because you're different from your 2go avatar..
If you've been asking to meet me and we never have
it may be that, i've been waiting all this while on ebuddy
if you once told me your birthdate and i forgot..
Why didn't you put it on your facebook profile?
If you call me everyday and i still don't know it's you..apologies
i still think we'd 'talk' better on mxit
If i seem to call you the wrong name more often
pardon me,
It's your netlog 'username' that comes more readily to mind
If you read this piece,found it amusing and picked up your phone to call me..
You're so doing the wrong thing..
Because you should know i'd be on blogger typing another article..!

Friday, 3 June 2011

Cain & Abel. Wikielicks cables; 'The White House'

Officially, i shouldn't reply you
Personally, i think i must
because i've always been a democrat
so i've made this an unofficial correspondence
and yes, from the 'White House'
I still wonder why the 'White' makes you feel 'bad'
It really is 'White' and it's a 'good' place to live
especially for a 'blackman'..
I don't acquiesce to that bit about us being brothers..
'cuz you ain't black and you def ain't no nigger!'
Pardon the outburst in vernacular, i get like that sometimes when angry
Most assuredly, you, unflinchingly are an 'extremist'
i didn't put much stock in extremes before now
but that was before the 'White House'
If i seem to constantly use the word 'White'
it's not deliberate..i just can't help not reminding myself it's true
i'm really in the 'White House'; a black man!
Forgive the impromptu digression..and back to matters of state
i'm still very comfortable in the 'White House'
Four more years wouldn't be unwelcome
and there you were at 'Abbottabad'
feeling 'good' after being 'bad'
a cheap price to pay for a priceless stay
so i had to trade the 'pawn' to 'stay' the 'castle'
I've also read Macchiavelli; 'The Prince'
so 'good' prevailed over 'evil'...again
My empathy, if that notion irks you
it is what it is and that's what the people are saying
it's a democratic world afterall!
Pertaining us being of the same world..
I concur,
though i strongly feel the 'present' one suits you better..
with your 40 virgins which i have no need of
i have the 'First woman' in the universe..that's the sore fact!
But since i wrote the 'Audacity of Hope'..keep hoping then!
N.B. There will be no 'White House' seal on this communique, security policy prohibits its use for 'extremists'.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Cain & Abel; wikielicks cables.

In the beginning..
We reportedly were akin
Even in this life..
We belong in the same world,
the 'Third'
As the story goes
i was originally the first 'bad' one
and you; vice versa
i hope you know i disagree anyways
i just believe we had different causes
and we were just that..different
i don't believe in extremes
yet, that's my eternal curse..extremism
it's like 'suicide' and 'bomber' these days
the mention of one brings to mind the other
i can't remove it, this 'extremist' tag
sorry if i frightened you, using 'suicide' etc
it was just to push home the 'message'
i'd rather not use big words like that
if my mission was to bomb(ard) you
It seems we've strayed off the 'true path'
Accordingly, as the original script unfolded
we were 'different' and at the end..
I killed you and then ran..
God..excuse me, Allah knows where to..
Probably 'Abbottabad'..
But this was way before you made the 'White House'
and i guess that makes you feel even more 'good'
moreso, because of what the world is saying
that 'good has prevailed over evil'
How i wish i still had my 'things'..em..limbs!
Even my memory is failing me..
However, rejoice not
all hope is not lost
i still have 40 virgins..

'Red Devils and the Almighty'; Recap contd.

Villa: didn't disappoint by getting registered and with a classic strike at that..he must have scored that goal against Van Der Sar before judging by the way he re-enacted it perfectly..a beautiful precise goal to watch..his!
Rooney: one classic goal..he's got that sharp killer instinct anyday..should have been a shark had he not been human..a real striker!..though he spent most of the match contradicting his play-role..also guilty of 'Halleluya-ing' the referee or was he still warming up?..caught him scratching/stroking his balding/bald head after the game..looked cheated..
Abidal: got tested a lot..but stood his ground..firmly too!..if the plan was to break him, it didn't work..had an historic moment lifting the cup first as the team's captain..a someone saying FCB's racist? Maybe they missed that!
Nani: didn't disappoint..came on very sharp with his charismatic dazzling moves..which helped offset the disproportionate Barca hold on the game..would have been nice to see him score a very good chance he created himself..better luck next season though..
Alves: had it good all through..lowest moment was when he lost his cool temporarily and accused the referee of sight impairment..highest moment was him kissing the cup passionately..his girlfriend would probably have been jealous..wonder if Man. Utd players were too..
Scholes: will he ever retire? Came in late, but there was to be no repeat fluke-goal this time!
Messi: definitely proved he's 'El Messiah' by putting Barca back on top with a superb strike..was all babyish smiles afterwards looking like he'd done nothing wrong..rather, he did everything right but did a lot of people wrong in the's no wonder many love him..he's a disagreeable combination of humility and popularity..
Evra: was modelling for most of the match and i grudgingly had to admit his jersey was fitting..would be a nice career change if he considered it..moral of story; he should stay away from Messi in future..
Puyol: came in to show his curls..and everyone who was watching saw them..i believe?..
Chicarito: overheard some peeps debating if he played or not..but i definitely saw him about nine times..offside!
Keita/Affelay: i don't really think they wanted to play..keita atleast..Affelay looked goal-hungry though..
On the whole, a great game..haven't had a Champions League final this interesting in a while..props to both teams..Man. Utd fans should not see this as a slight on their's all in the spirit of the game..FAIRPLAY!..Arrivedeci!

'Red Devils and the Almighty'; Recap.

It was here now it's gone and all that's left is stories to tell and memories to share. On the whole, a great way to end the football season. Both teams gave a lot, more especially the 'Devils' for discerning football viewers would agree that they played an unusual pattern. Probably usual for 'Mourinho-led' teams, but for the 'Devils?', no!
As said earlier in the previous article 'a chance at vengeance?' and i quote, 'Man. Utd dosen't have the stereo-type players that can aggravate Barca to stop their daunting passing game but their fast counter-attacks could just make up for it'.
It sure did and earned Man. Utd their equaliser in the first half (an offside which the line official didn't catch[i believe because it happened so fast, that's Man. Utd!). A Fergie squad playing a Mourinho pattern without the usual 'Mourinho-type' players was deficient in my opinion and my kudos goes to Sir Alex for still putting up a fair fight.
Albeit, the encounter was mostly a one-sided affair, but was altogether an exciting clash with a lot of laughs, intrigues, highs, suprises and most certainly the lows. Thumbs up to the Camera crew..they did a fab job. Now, lets try to recapture some 'epic' moments of the match.
Sir Alex: showed he still had his 'grey hairs' in place with the formation he adopted and in the manner his wards took over the game in the opening minutes of the game..funny though the camera picking him coming back from 'peeing' (i think) after Pedro's goal..also thought maybe his seat was getting too hot..his jubilation of Rooney's equaliser also left much to be answered, made people say all was not well with the Ol' man..he just paused midway like.. 'why/what am i celebrating?'..
Ol' man Alex has a peculiar trait most people know..he's a winner and hates losing but somehow his stance in the second-half showed he knows when it's all over..he just sat there as if wishing he were somewhere else..and then..just then his hands rebelled..(almost felt like he was cruising on a Scooter-bike!)wonder if he was aware of that..we'll have to ask him then, don't you think?
But Baba's still a good sportsman despite the sorry loss he still held his head high and managed a fixated smile at the end of the overwhelming ordeal!
Pep G: This dude just loves standing or what? He had a worrisome first 15mins when it seemed his boys were out of touch..also had a look like 'i warned them to expect that.' when Rooney's goal came. Though, second-half after 2 more classic goals he must have been preparing for his next cup after the Champions League!
Van Der Sar: Was one of the worst hit by the Barca rampage. Lost his composure in the second half. Still can't ascertain if he was trying out an Indian snake dance when he should have been stopping Pedro's goal..was really twisted in an alarming position..but then i think his defenders sold him out a lot during the tie..didn't give enough cover and mostly just impaired his vision..definitely thought he looked re-tired at the end..very!
Valdes: someone said he was facebooking and tweeting for most of the game..he looked confident throughout..even Rooney's goal didn't dent him.
Giggs: Must have rued retiring with a game like this..somehow became so fast that the cameras couldn't pick him during the game..saw him once 'Halleluya-ing' the referee..frustration? didn't let his medal stay a minute on him..wonder why it offended him so much..
Xavi: Managed his share of the camera a bit moderately than 'El Messiah' but was inordinate in his use of damaging passes.
J.S. Park: Did more than his fair share of the work..but who says even good engines don't breakdown? Park had to park his 'Zhengzhou Nissan/Lifan' engine somewhere sometime after Villa's death knell..but he did well altogether.
Iniesta: Only saw him a few times but that didn't mean he wasn't there at all times!..looked likely to have had a goal he never did have..wonder how the cameras managed to capture him..
Valencia: Had an expression more fitting for a Mafia boss than a football player most of the encounter..did his job well..if not more than but it still didn't change the goal tally..Ol' man Fergie should have made more copies of him..
Pique: Didn't appear to have had much to do..stayed clean throughout which is uncommon..asides football i think he might have made it as a blood donor..his near own-goal was his most obvious scare..
Ferdinand: Was taking another competition with Evra more seriously..that of showing their jersey numbers!
Mascherano: Still think he's a square peg in Barca's perfect circle..had some mishaps probably because he was playing deeper than usual..and most suprisingly he kept a clean card-slate! But, he did well generally.
Fabio: Must have wished he were 8 years older for the match..almost imagined him in diapers while he was on the line-up..did very well..was sorry he lost his leg/nerve towards the end though..
Sergio: must have been wishing more finals were that easy..
Carrick: Think he was practising a new trick 'The Vanishing Act'. Ol' man Fergie certainly didn't like it and decided to let him 'vanish' for the rest of the game!
Pedro: lost so many 'could-have-been' classical goals but got his name registered anyway..
Vidic: remained unbreakable throughout..appeared to have been playing 'freeze' with Ferdinand just as Messi's goal-bound shot went by..thumbs up to the brave captain..he didn't desert his ship even when it sunk!

To be contd.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Red Devils and the 'Almighty'; a chance at vengeance?

Doubtless, a lot of people in the universe are looking forward to May 28, 2011 for a myriad of reasons among which is the fact that it'll be a non-working day and as usual, it is customarily a period pegged for numerous leisurely activities.
However, one particular 'leisurely activity' pegged for May 28 is the object of this discourse and judging from the title, i bet you know which!
Needless to say that both teams are great sides going by their antecedents et cetera..and that, this re-match is one that will generate a lot of controversy before and after. The question being 'which side will win?'. Before jumping to any conclusions, i think it's best to do a little 'inventory' to see what each side has in 'stock!'.
Manchester United; The Three Wisemen
Sir Alex Ferguson is not a good coach/manager, he's a super coach/manager. He's regarded as the only 'irremovable' object in MUFC, the face one sees when thoughts of MUFC slips into ones mind. The genius responsible for transforming a team which hadn't won a league title in 26yrs into the best team in the world. He is also responsible for snatching the 1983 and 1991 cup winners cup from giants Real Madrid and Barcelona respectively while at Aberdeen FC,the last European trophies any Scottish side has won to date. Undoubtedly, Sir Alex is a master strategist,tactician and planner with unlimited experience at his disposal.
Invariably it's hard to imagine there were stoppers like Peter Schmeichel and former world best Fabien Barthez at Man. Utd before him, Edwin Van Der 'Sir' (pun intended) proved everyone who thought he was going to be a short term replacement wrong. Fast, agile, cool-headed with the uncanny ability to produce lightning saves, the 'Eagle' as he's wont to be called by fans is definitely one of the pillars that make the MUFC structure formidable.
Ryan Giggs; need i say he's the most decorated player in the squad? This dude surely has an 'anti-ageing' chromosome!. He has lived to tell the tale of so many destroyed defences, defenders and,incursive,resourceful and also a game-changer, Giggs is a phenomenom!.
Barcelona; The Trinity
The Feeder; Xavi Hernandez is an icon but you can still pretend not to see him if you want to, not because he's short but because he hardly calls attention off the pitch of play. He forms the apex of the 'Barca triangle' and he's famous for his penetrating passes.
The Ghost; He's visible, infact very corporeal. Andres Iniesta has a modest game pattern, dribbles when necessary, passes when necessary e.t.c, football is so neat with Iniesta and he seems to move at the speed of thought like a ghost!
The 'Messiless Spirit'; This guy narrowly missed being a pigmy but it all worked out in the end, two World Player of the Year awards attest to that. He already has a chair waiting alongside Pele, Maradona, Cruyff, and Di Stefano. Considered inhuman by many judging by his on-the-ball movements. So unstoppable is his combination of balance and acceleration and his lightning-quick on-the-ball decisions that he makes opponents appear to have been napping.
The Drivers
Both sides have a lot of fast, incursive players. For Man. Utd they're J.S. Park, Rooney, Giggs, Chicarito, Valencia and Evra.
For Barca; they are the trio of Xavi,Iniesta,Messi,then Villa, Pedro, Alves, Afellay,Bojan just to mention the most ambitous ones because the entire team could as well be drivers!
The Goal Machine
Despite a decrease in seasonal goal tally, it's still Wayne Rooney for Man. Utd. He a goal focused player that can make them from everywhere.
For Barca, the boot aptly fits David Villa. His arrival injected a cutting edge into Barca after Eto'os' departure. He can also swing goals as fast as mood changes.
The Jury
There's Anderson, Owen, Fletcher, O'shea, Smalling, Evans, Rafael et al.
Barca; Maxwell, Adriano, Affellay, Bojan, Suarez, Thiago, Sergio Roberto et al. Well, you might say i'm biased but i daresay Barca have a better Jury list to choose from.
What both don't have
Man. Utd dosen't have the stereo-type players that can aggravate Barca out of their traditional daunting passing game but their fast counter-attacks could just make up for that. Also they don't have the disadvantage of being topdogs and as such can go into the game with a balanced attitude.
Barca don't have the advantage of going into the game as underdogs..rather it's easy for them to become overconfident and this has cost them games in the past. However, they seem to have every other requirement including a Pep Guardiola who'll be looking forward to winning again at the same stadium where he won his first European cup for Barcelona in his first season as a player in 1992.
So who do you still think will win now?

Thursday, 19 May 2011

i still keep asking..

There are humans
as there, animals
both of the living
and there are some
living yet immobile
biologists would agree they are of the living
when the earth heaves
does it not release breath?
Should i not think it, alive?
And when a tree is felled
and it's green leaves shrink
with that fluid i mistake for tears
why can't we say it died
or appropriately, was murdered?
Yes, they talk of those far places
almost real when you can see speech
too vivid even the imagination can't comprehend
some say it's 'heaven', others 'shangri-la', the 'Great Beyond', 'Utopia', the 'Other Side'..
So and on..the names abound..
For me, i still keep asking
where did the tree go?
I'm still to hear it went to 'heaven!'
by touch and feel
the world, we conclude is real
still 'wisemen' demur
an illusion it be
not that i think these 'rantings' make me wise..
rather, it's the fool in me
who's found his voice
For, still, i keep asking..


read carefully
carefully write
in response
to these instances
sincerity is essential
admit freely your purest thoughts
what you would think
'If your girlfriend tells you..
she's reading late with her male classmate'
'Your husband calls to say..
He won't make dinner again..
due to overtime at the office assisted by his female secretary who is 'disturbingly' attractive'
'Your bestfriend, an habitual gambler
whom you've sworn off lending money
opens his mouth again to say..
Please, i'm going to need your help again..'
instinct is basic
but take pause before reacting
assumption is the mother
of all fuck-ups
it is also the father
of instant revelation
'tis that ambivalent state that leads
to action or inaction
so tread carefully
this path, before!

apt definitions from a book i read..

sex is of no joke, violence is a way of life, crime pays and religion's is just another cult.

Three Fairies Not Tree..

Three are the fairies which make even an intelligent man imbecillic. One, is wine which 'illiterates' all sobriety even those which the insane possess abundantly.
Two, is women over whom blood brothers would jostle.such wondrous power hath women that even money-love which is root-evil could not make such man clownish.
Three, is philtre/love which is much as well related to 'womanity'.

'supa ducklings'

Discovery is seeing what everyone is seeing but thinking what nobody's thinking. In my opinion, the problem with the Eagles is not money, encouragement, infastructure, or technical anything..
It's simply lack of of country..and the common football-loving people. Not that i'm extending blame here, it's quite the opposite, there's really not much to be patriotic about except perhaps, the dual-coloured flag or the national anthem.
We all (excluding a few) are guilty of unpatriotism for only a small percentage can claim to have done anything for the country, Nigeria. How much more then football players who have a rather long list of 'fallen heroes' living and dead?
Let it be known then that patriotism instils in one, drive/determination and a never-say-die attitude which our 'supa ducklings' seriously need to soar like the eagles they are supposed to be.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

The single list of double things

They seem to say you; (not me) can't do two things at the same time..but i seem to think both of us agree that's a huge white lie with a grin on it's face!..
So, just because i care at least a little..i took a little time to compile a list of things you can multi-task, go ahead! Prove them wrong.
1. You can drink and drive at the same time..
Haven't done it yet but i've heard it's done..
Give it a try.
2. You can have two relationships at the same time..
If i've tried it?..too personal a question..don't ask..lets go on.
3. You can laugh and cry simultaneously..yep! This is one i can categorically say 'I HAVE DONE'..many times..hahahahahaha..have to stop now..don't want tears ruining this paper!
4. You most certainly have done this before..if you are an internet geek (if you are reading this on a screen, you qualify)..browsing while making droppings in the WC..heard there's better reception in's one i just might try.
5. You can lie and be truthful at the same time..there's something they call an you won't be called a total liar!'s safe, take a shot..but not at me..ok?
So i think i've to make pause here and get to other 'things'..try these for a start..will let you know if any other 'ideas' pop up, ok?..arrivedeci!
P.S, The writer cannot be held liable for any incorrectness or inaccuracy of information, nor any consequences or incident(s) that may arise in the event of attempting the above-mentioned actions.. WWE- Do not try these at home!
John Doe.

God, Man, The Tailor and Others.

God made man
The Tailor made the gentleman
God made man (again!!)
Man made money..then,
Money made man mad.

ain't poetry..

Anger wells..
mirrors it,
dark reflections..
Not with my nose,
I smell conspiracy..
When falling in love,
fear not my limbs..
Thou shalt not bruise..
no pieces i pick..
Fighting my feelings,
pray, not with fists..
'course it's not water i seek..
Seeing hunger on all faces,
seeing, yet not with sight..
Our desires..our Masters..
Slaves are to them..
Though chained,
not in chains..
In a state,but..
It's nowhere in the world..
My train of thought leaving,
though it leaves..
No steam it leaves..

Monday, 16 May 2011

In between the hills..

Of nothingness..
Of acclaim..
Of pride,
these are feelings,
the valley wroughts
enfolded in embrace..
reach the highest heights
all mountaineers seek
the very heights..
all pleasures peak
Of births,
Of life,
its very door..
Brute force might get you in..
But only 'gift' and 'talent' combined will help you there
The 'Valley'
the only part of the world..
Where man truly fits!
Its climb,
one many a man will make..