Col' World

The World is a cold

Hard spinning globe

Indifferent to tears

If it would stop, just once

Then, I’d know it cares

Life must go on

Yes, but why it must

Dares no one say?

Or is Time to blame

For this Earth’s non-stop?

Time is harsh

The Watch constant reminds

Tick, tock, tock

When I’m happy, when I’m sad

Tick, tock, non-stop

Oh! If Night would once

But delay pomp

Of rising Sun

Then some comfort

I might have in gloom

Ilu Sioni

Stupid! Stupid!                         

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Dido mused.      

She hadn’t even been able to do this one good deed. Kill herself and save her parents shame. How she’d mixed up the pills and ended up taking more of Vitamin C puzzled her. Well, there really was no mystery to solve. Somewhere in her subconscious, she had been scared. She hadn’t had the courage to do it.

The excruciating cramps had woken her. Her whole system was in chaos. She had visited the loo 8 times and still wasn’t feeling any reprieve. It seemed anything she tried was somehow been used against her.

God! Please! I’ll confess first thing in the morning. Just let this pain stop. I’ll change my ways. I’ll read the bible more. I’ll stop having sex. She rambled on in her mind.

Three hours later after a fitful sleep, morning came. Despair washed over her as she opened her eyes. Today was her day of reckoning. Her sins would be paid for. She would own up and tell her mother. Then her mother would tell her father. He would disown her. She would be sent packing. The neighbours would hear. Her belly would protrude. Everyone would see and her shame would see light.

She got up reluctantly from her messed up bed and proceeded to remake it. Her bed was the first thing her mother would check out once she came by to say her usual morning greetings.

As she pulled and straightened the bed-cloth, her eyes caught a faint spot on it. Doubting her eyes; she touched it, caressing the material. Sudden energy flushed through her and she lifted her night-gown up. There, nestled in between her thighs was the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen. Ketch-up.

Perhaps, salt-water had worked after all. Maybe it had been postinor. Or was it Vitamin C? God? She would probably never know for sure and she didn’t care if she never did. From today henceforth, she decided she would never hate on ketch-up ever again.

"To a man of faith; coincidence is fate, and to a man of fate, it's his faith."

Thanks for reading.

Runt Rant

Runt Rant

Ilu Sioni

Dido was not her real name but it was the name everyone knew her by. Even her parents often times called her Dido against their better judgment. Though they didn’t like it, she absolutely loved the name. Her parents were Witnesses and so was she; automatically. Both were highly placed in the organization’s hierarchy. Her dad was a zonal overseer while her mum handled the circuits. Both were habitually strict disciplinarians and traditionally busy people but they still found ample time to drill the gospel into her at all times to a point where she felt like choking. For an only child, having no close cousins or friends, it felt like she was being imprisoned for some crime committed in her previous life.
She felt sometimes they must think her a devil. The way they hammered the gospel into her day and night like they did, like they somehow believed they could exorcise her that way. She didn’t really fault them, inside, in her mind; her thoughts were the kind that would have made their faithful BRT-lane hearts stop functioning. She had been told she’d been somewhat mischievous as a child and that had earned her the name “Dido” from a family friend. The name hadn’t made her parents ecstatic and she could still imagine their horror that she’d responded to it than any of her rightful names. The fact that it made them unhappy pleased her a bit. Not that she hated them, it just felt good to be able to rebel against them in a somewhat if little way.
Dido hadn’t always been against them, their beliefs or everything else they stood for. She had at a point been enthusiastic about the gospel too. She’d always excelled at bible quizzes and competitions. Coming first had even become boring. Then, she’d been confident enough to think that she would best the devil himself in a bible quiz.
It was probably the monotony of it all that had gotten to her. Her life had become even more predictable than a madman’s clothing accessories. Kingdom hall, school, home, read school books, read bible, digest publications, eat, sleep, wake, repeat same process. Even the few people she had tried to befriend at church were extremely boring people with no imagination. A few times she’d tried to share some of the repressed thoughts in her mind with them; the bewildered looks on their faces had shut her up.
To her horror, her parents sensing her withdrawal and perceiving it as a spiritual backslide had dedicated additional time to her gospel lessons. Ketch-up hadn’t made things easy either. The pain, nausea and irritation she normally experienced went up more than three notches that year. Then, somewhere she read that sex helped in reducing menstrual cramps and other attendant problems. Coincidentally, she met Koro that period during one of her evangelism rounds. 

He was a rich boy, not that he bought her things or she requested them. That would have alerted her parents’ suspicions for they procured all her needs. Her university wasn’t far away also and she returned home every day. So, there was no place to hide the gifts Koro didn’t give her. She didn’t mind and he also didn’t complain and so they lived happily never after. Koro also had the TDH factor which also didn’t really matter to her because she couldn’t be seen with him as his girlfriend publicly. He was Catholic, she was a Witness. They shouldn’t/couldn’t date talk-less marry each other. So, they kept it under-G lower than G-strings. She knew he didn’t love her, liked her maybe but no love. Not that she cared, she didn’t love him too. They did the ‘ahem ahem’ more than they talked even, so there was absolutely no room for love to stay. For love, rent was expensive and she liked it that way because it only complicated things.
Tuesday and Thursday evenings were her best days of the week. A sweaty work-out session with Koro always refreshed her. Sex; she felt was the sole reason gods envied mortals. Good oral sex; was the reason Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden Of Life. Even as a kid, she’d never bought the Apple story wholly. It sounded too manufactured.
She remembered the first time she'd asked her mum questions regarding it.
"Mom, how many apples did Adam and Eve eat?"
"One. They shared one I believe" her mother had replied.
"Was there only one apple on the tree?"
"Err.. I don't think so. There were many apples"
"So, God chased Adam and Eve from the Garden for eating one apple?"
"No, you don't understand. God chased them away because they were disobedient to him" her mother had responded.
"Mom, wasn't it the Snake that made them eat the apple?" Dido remembered asking.
"Yes, but Adam and Eve chose to disobey God"
"Mom" Dido had said with a purposeful look.
"If you tell me not to eat something and I disobey you, would you chase me away from our house?"
Her mother had hastily pulled her close and said with all the sincerity she could muster.
"Of course no, dear, I would never do such to you. I love you dearly"
"But didn't God love Adam and Eve too?"
Her mother had sighed.
"Dido, when you grow up, you'll understand better"
"Why was the Snake in the Garden in the first place?" "Shouldn't the Snake have been chased from the Garden instead?" She'd pressed on undeterred.
Her mother obviously at wits end had subtly changed the discussion. Dido had been five years old then. She'd grown up to understand the story better just as her mother had promised.
She believed the snake/devil had taught Eve the 69 which would explain her eating first before Adam. Adam; she believed would undoubtedly have been a dumb bloke like most of his male descendants. Explaining a complex system like 69 to someone whose hobby was eating and naming animals would have been no doubt frustrating. No wonder the snake/devil chose Eve.
The months when Koro went to school were the hardest on her. She climbed the lowest heights of despair. His parents were the very rich kind who could afford a school for him in the UK. Although they chatted via internet occasionally, there was really nothing to say. Their mode of communication was of a physical nature which even skyping couldn’t satisfy.
Today, she was happy. It was a Tuesday and Koro was around. It had been a while and she’d missed their work-out sessions tremendously. She was sure he would have missed it too. Down low, just thinking about their first session together in what seemed like ages to her, rivers of cum had overflowed their banks. She could feel it.
She arrived at his place exactly the same time she did every time. Opened the side gate because she knew it was unlocked. Went to the back of the house where the boys’ quarters were, opened the unlocked door and met Koro already dressed. He was naked. 

“What’s up?” He said, his eyes saying something else.
“I’m good” She said, her eyes betraying the lie.
As if on cue, they went down and became one at once, kissing and licking, feeling and touching as they communicated physically in rapid staccato. And then just when she could bear it no more, he reached under the mattress and retrieved a goal-stopper, put it on and eased his staff into her watering-hole. She visited three different planets and made a U-turn at Saturn before he was finally done.
Rolling off him, she realized some of his water-gun squirts had entered her; the goal-stopper had failed. She remembered feeling the sweet trickling sensation while on Venus. She’d been too far gone to give voice to the caution then. Somehow the goal-stopper must have tired out under Koro’s relentless assault.
Koro got up and started looking for something near the foot of the mattress where a trolley stood.
“I’m afraid I don’t have any more supplies of postinor” Koro said.
“So, what do we do now?” Dido asked, fear creeping into her voice.
“Err… I’ll give you money to get it. In the meantime, I’ll get you salt and water to drink”
“Salt and water?!” she asked, incredulous.
“Babe, you might not believe it, but it works. It’ll flush all that ish out in no time” Koro said, conviction glinting in his brown eyes.
“How many girls have you used it for?” Dido asked, tauntingly now, mischief gradually replacing her initial fear.
Koro looked at her in a funny way, smiled then went out to get the salt solution. He made her down three big cups of the distasteful concoction before releasing her. She refused the money he offered for the postinor and quickly dressed. She would get the drug on the way home.
So far, she’d been to three pharmacy stores and all she had to show for it were Vitamin C packs and lozenges. All the stores were packed with people and she couldn’t bring herself to buy the drug in their presence. She was afraid someone might know someone who knew her. She’d been counting on the stores to be sparsely populated but it was evening; everyone flooded pharmacies at that period. Koro had been the one who usually got these things. As she was thinking of looking for another pharmacy to try; she heard her father’s familiar car-horn behind her. That was the end of her ultimate search that evening.
It wasn’t until Thursday evening after another steamy session with Koro that she finally got the drug. She sent it down with cold water to minimize the taste of it in her mouth. She hated pills of any kind. She couldn’t even take Vitamin C without a liquid to push it down. Because Koro was leaving for school that weekend, they had an additional session. In the end, she had to forcefully break away. Her Cinderella clock was dinging inside her head. She was due home that moment. Discovery was too dangerous to be risked just yet.
That night, her mother gave her some terribly unsettling news. A young girl in their church had lost her life having an abortion. Though flustered, Dido managed to veil her emotions, saying all the right words, giving the appropriate exclamations and taking care not to overdo the acting. Alone on her bed later that night, Dido kept re-enacting the warm trickle moment with Koro on Tuesday evening. She debated calling him and decided against it. What was there to tell him? Her sleep was a medley of confusing dreams that night.
That weekend; ketch-up came calling and for once in her existence, she was glad to have the pains.
***********************************
Everything was just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Dido thought as she wrung her hands in anguish. Everything and everyone had failed her. Salt-water, goal-stopper, postinor, God and even Koro. Well, she didn’t feel hurt that God hadn’t come to her rescue. He didn’t owe her any favours. It was Koro’s betrayal that hurt her most. The way he’d changed from sweet Koro to monster Koro before her own very koro-koro eyes once she mentioned she was two months late. She hadn’t even mentioned that word boys feared to hear before he went stiff. Even though, it had been via Skype, she’d read his reaction clearly. He had told her exactly what she’d known she would hear but had hoped not to.
“I’ll send you some money to clean up”.
If he hadn’t repeated it twice, she could have sworn he was just telling her he would send her money to buy toilet soap.
She’d protested teary-eyed. He’d remained unmoved. She’d threatened to tell his parents; he’d dared her to. They’d traded a few fuck you’s until he’d ended the chat. She hadn’t heard from him since then.
She was too scared to think of attempting an abortion. What if it went wrong? The shame and disgrace for her family. Or if it went well but her womb was affected? Or she lost too much blood or something? She would still die because she wouldn’t be getting blood from anyone. Her parents would see to that. If only she had someone to confide in.
Every plan she’d thought out so far ended in suicide. Abortion; suicide. Pregnancy; suicide. Suicide! Suicide! Suicide! Suicide? Maybe that could just be the only way out for her, Dido thought. The dead know no shame. Her only concern was for the pain she would cause her parents. But, she felt sure there would be no autopsy and if there was no autopsy, perhaps her parents would suffer less humiliation. Suicide was a way out; her way out.
                               

Ilu Sioni

…She sat there in blatant darkness, still and unmoving, her thoughts doing all the shuffling. Any crafty animal perceiving her might foolishly think her insensible or to its peril, a statue. She didn’t have a cord yet and was gradually being moved towards the idea of using the pills instead. Pills…Cord…Pills…Cord… God! Either, she would use one, both, or run mad before she could. This was one of the few moments in her life when she actually felt pleased with NEPA; because she knew the black-out was as much responsible for her confidence as was the situation she found herself. Here she was, facing death armed with pills, confident and enveloped by darkness…she who had always dreamed of passing away gloriously in her bed. She would pass away on her bed no doubt; ingloriously though. Well, if she’d learned anything on her earthly sojourn, it was that dreams were futile, costly illusions and that nothing good really happened as planned.
She heard a sound just then and scrambled into action to prevent discovery or worse; interference. This was one deed she planned on seeing to the end. She hastily poured out all the pills, drank some water and in one swift gulp swallowed. And then, in that same moment, just before she blacked out…she saw how it all happened, again.
**********************************
Dido was on a beach clad in a sexy, lemony bikini. She couldn’t help admiring herself in it as she moved sleekly towards the water. It appeared she was alone which was expected since it was just the early hours of dawn. She had come to watch the Sun rise and sneak a swim; naked before any one visited the popular beach. Just as she was about removing her excuse of a cloth, she saw the sexiest behind she’d ever seen in her existence. He was seated with his face to the rising sun; another nature lover she thought to herself. But, what held her gaze was the fact that he was totally naked. Truth be told, she would pay to watch him naked. He had the kind of body that did justice to nudity. Unconsciously, she approached him. Funny thing was, he seemed to get bigger as she neared him or maybe it was just her eyes playing tricks… or the Sun.
She felt excitement throbbing down below at her core as she imagined him doing things to her. Here was one stranger she would gladly have a one-morning-stand with. But she wished to see his face first. That could just be Mr. Perfect’s one flaw that would turn her off.
She was still debating whether he looked a bit greenish or maybe it was the poor lighting when he turned at the sound of her steps on the sand.
“Huh?” It barked. It, because this was no man she was seeing. It was a green monster.
At that precise moment, she had a vision of the beast of a man, straddling her, entering her… and for a person her size, she knew it inside her would only mean one thing, an anti-climactic death. She turned away from it and started running looking back over her shoulder to see it in pursuit. The chase was over in Bolt’s seconds. Luckily for her, she woke up just as it straddled her. And she woke up drenched. It had been a terrible, terrible wet dream. Getting up, she felt moisture between her thighs and dipped her hands to investigate. It wasn’t what she’d anticipated… it was the other thing. Ketch-up. The one reason she hated being female.
**********************************
Dido was one of the lucky ones who had escaped being an albino by… yes, Bolt’s seconds. The result was a beautiful, gold-skinned girl with pearly-brown eyes that were hugely disconcerting. Her eyes did wonders whenever she settled them into a fixed stare. So many guys had fallen for those eyes never to rise again. Though she was never short of admirers, she’d no boyfriend and liked it that way. A relationship was excess baggage she didn’t need.
She’d heard a few of the rumours in circulation about her. She knew some thought her to be homosexual while most believed her to be the model hardcore SU; spiritually ultra. None were close to the truth and the real truth no one knew was that she hated being female most of the time. And it was all because of ketch-up, life had been simpler before ketch-up. At least then, she’d been as good a boy as any.
Her thoughts drifted back to the first day of ketch-up and she winced involuntarily. It had been a glorious morning for her that day. She’d woken on top of the world, sang as she bathed, used an extra amount of time primping and creaming her skin. Put on the finest, whitest and cleanest of her undies, and ironed her white school uniform until all the right creases were in place. On the assembly ground, when she’d finally been called out from the rest with a few others, Dido remembered feeling too good with herself. The selected few stood in a single horizontal file with their backs to the teeming crowd of students and teachers alike.
She still remembered sneaking a glance back to check out the multi-coloured faces of her fellow students. High above the ground level where they were, it had been quite easy for her to read the expressions on their faces. Awe, envy, indifference etc. were displayed in their respective colours. Not that she’d cared much for their feelings; she’d only looked back at them out of curiousity. In spite of the multi-racial mélange of students that had been available at her school then, she had been close to none. The girls had been too loose-mouthed for her liking while the boys all seemed to have been plagued with a similar familiar disease; excess testosterone.
She remembered trembling in anticipation as she waited to receive the badge which would symbolize her designation as the school’s head-girl. She would be above all the other girl prefects, and no girl’s equal in her school. Everything was going well until the only Japanese boy in her school started singing something which sounded like an anthem in the crowd behind her. Dido heard chuckles, snickers, gasps and all sorts of strange sounds emanate from the crowd of students and teachers behind her. Although she hadn’t been immediately aware then, a cute Japanese flag had been manufactured at the lower back of her school uniform. By the time she realized, the news coupled with the view had hit platinum. Disoriented and on the verge of delirium, she’d rushed out from the assembly ground without receiving her badge. The incident earned her the moniker ‘Japanese head-girl’ the rest of her school year.
As if the day couldn’t get any worse, she’d been hit smack in the face by the flying spittle of the conductor of a moving Molue on her way home that evening. She’d felt it was either God was taking out some sort of vengeance on her for some forgotten slight or the Devil had staged a coup and seized power.
Her thoughts drifted to another time three years later when ketch-up had paid her an impromptu visit. She had been walking home alone as was usual when she sighted her neighbor-hood crush from afar. He had been in the company of five of his friends and they were standing around the narrow bypass she preferred using to avoid people. Turning back had been out of question because she’d felt all twelve eyes on her the instant she’d appeared. Though shaken inside but not wanting to appear timid, she’d continued walking towards the pass and them. Even without looking up, she’d literally felt their eyes ripping open her clothes, looking at her naked body and…
Ironically and quite unfortunately for her, some distance away from the guys even though she’d been looking down, she hadn’t noticed the stone until it had tripped her and gravity had summoned her obeisance. Lying prostrate on the floor, clothed in dust and bruises, the pain she’d felt had been more emotional than physical and she recollected wishing to evaporate that instant. But wishes had been horses even then. She had felt a mixture of relief/embarrassment/delight when her crush came over dusted her and for the first time spoke to her.
“Are you alright? Hope you’re not in any serious pain?” He had said.
“I’m… I’m… fine. Thank you”
“You’re bleeding” He’d continued.
“Yeah. It’s… it’s just an… err… minor…scrapes”. She remembered saying. Blushing as hell inside, she’d turned to leave.
“You’re bleeding…” He’d persisted.
“There”. He had said pointing to her bottom.

Enter ketch-up. Why? She’d thought. Why? And then her ruminations gave way to mortification and then rage. Couldn’t this dumb-head of a boy have told her in other less discreet ways than pointing it out for the world to see? She recalled looking at him then thinking how unattractive he suddenly appeared to her. That was the end of her short affair with him all courtesy of ketch-up and the boy’s obvious stupidity.

Hiya folks!

This is my official thank you and happy new year greeting for '13...
(I'm sure everyone is in '13 by now *winks*)

Thank you all for taking time to read, comment and stand by the blog...
(one wet kiss for you all (you know yourselves)

Please, expect a better blog-year.

Let's roll!